Will You Be There

Michael Jackson

 

Hold me
Like the River Jordan
And I will then say to thee
You are my friend

Carry me
Like you are my brother
Love me like a mother
Will you be there?
....

When weary
Tell me will you hold me
When wrong will you scold me
When lost would you find me

But they told me
A man should be faithful
And walk when not able
And fight till the end
But I'm only human
...

I like this song—Will You Be There—very much. It often moved me. This time while I listen to this music feelingly, read its lyric line by line and write them so carefully down, it affects me much more and touches my heart deeply, even to tears inside.

Something made me sad these days, cuz I am such a foolish and stupid man.
It depresses me that I even don't know how to do, and how to face.
Although I don't know why, I really don't want to know the hearts of men now.
It means not so much to me.
Cry if you want to, don't pretend to be ok.
You are only human.

I don't want to say something is right or wrong, which means nothing.
I don't want to build myself up by making others wrong, which also means nothing.
However, I believe I can face to everything, even if nothing is right.
Whatever happens, I believe something, like the song When You Believe (Whitney Houston & Mariah Carey) sings:

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail

Hold me, like the River Jordan.
Carry me, like you are my brother.
Love me, like a mother.
...
When I believe, you will be there. I think.

为什么令人厌恶，会让人不喜欢？为什么令人着迷，会让人爱上？

不喜欢“厌恶”这个词，虽然一直避免使用这个词思考问题。但那到底为何会不喜欢某人、某事了，我想明白。

是因为“令人厌恶”就“不喜欢”，还只是因为“令人厌恶”，而我就“不喜欢”了，这样真的好吗？

反之，一些是因为令人着迷而爱上吗？这个“爱上”是否就足够make sense了？只是一个因为“令人着迷”就爱上的“爱上”。

想来想去，始终不明白，虽然觉得够无聊的，但许多总与心中的坚持冲突，而我能否给自己寻找到足够的希望了。

英语语法中一个句子的结构是如此的：subject（主语）+predicate （谓词）。

即是说，一句话，一段可表述的想法，都是对一个subject的predicate。

而我每想出一个句子，以至在大脑形成一段思想，总觉得是不那么right，或有种不该出现（诞生）的感觉。

这真是种让人空虚的感觉！

许多上天注定，不可改变，亦有着逃脱不了的命运，但却没有上帝告诉我命运何解。

真想有上帝、佛祖降临人间，无论是真是假，却好过苦苦寻找心中的佛与上帝，而不可得。

不喜欢一些感觉，但我到底为何“不喜欢“了。既不知为何，却如此为。真是荒谬！

生活总让人过得如此地荒谬。

今天听了两首歌，MJ的《Little Susie》是一首关于小susie死去的叙述，听起来让我很难受。关于歌曲内容，引用keen的一句话："关于一个不受人们关爱的小女孩在家里意外身亡的故事, MJ以此希望人们多献出对他人的关爱"。

还有一首席琳·迪翁(Celine Dion)的《Because you love me》，一首有着动听旋律、美妙歌喉和感人歌词的曲目。也是一首让人感动与感恩的歌曲，只愿静静聆听，直待永恒。

下午邓论课上，终于略略地把《海边的卡夫卡》看完了。如书中所说的一句“世上一切都是隐喻”，第一遍看完之后，并没有任何东西留下，似乎也无任何深刻的感想，只觉得在一个奇行的世界里走了一遭。不觉这是本如何好的书，也不觉得阅读它有糟透的感觉。

明白与不明白，隐喻与断定想来就分不清。原本想第一遍阅读完后写一篇感想，只好作罢。

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